My blog and I have an identity crisis
My blog and I have an identity crisis. Even though this isn’t entirely true. My blog has, but I’m as much clear about what I want as possible.
I have nothing to say | 2012 | mixed media on paper | approx. 30 x 42 cm or 12 x 16.5 inches | 225 €
My dear blog has mostly been about animation and only about very few things next to that which are usually related to my animated works: destuckification, inspiration and I sharing my animation processes.
But with these three major topics I only covered a tiny part of my life.
Over the last six months a lot has changed.
First, I quit most of the jobs that brought some money in but are amazingly time-consuming as well. I didn’t quit all, but I now work on my artworks most of the time and on my career in arts. I eventually became a full-time artist.
I learned that I’ll probably never a professional animator in the animation industry, like Justin or Nick or Barry, and first I was angry and sad about the fact that my films never looked as smooth and perfect as their films do.
It took me some time to find out what I do want from my life.
But then I learned what my talents are, and my strengths, and now I’m totally fine with what I am: a storyteller in visual arts.
At a party a few weeks ago somebody said to me:
“I wish I had something that I can so passionate about as you are when you’re talking about art.”
I love art and all its aspects. I love to look at artworks, to create them, to talk about art and to listen to people who love art as much as I do. Art makes me feel whole. When I’m working on my things, I feel alive and in the present. I love to inspire people in museums and workshops, and I love to see the look in their eyes when they feel what I feel.
Animation is only one manifestation of art, and it’s one of my favorites.
But while I write these lines, I have a lot of projects going on, and only one of them is 100% dedicated to animation:
- My animated short, Ins Dunkel
- Drawings, so many drawings!
- An architectural sound project (that is animating as well)
- A temporary off-space gallery project
- Three exhibitions that are already settled for 2012, and
- A lot of things that exist as concepts only so far.
Back to the identity crisis:
I have the feeling that something has to change on my blog, since so much had changed in my life and I want to tell you about it.
For a loooong time I had been waiting for someone to give me the permission to be an artist who combines fine art media and animation, or to be an artist in general.
I have many old scarves concerning my creativity and my works, it took me several years to understand that I don’t need anyone’s permission to do whatever I want.
I write to galleries a lot asking for exhibition opportunities, and from time to time somebody says yes. I apply for art grants and juried exhibitions, and often, but not always people say no. I work on my drawings and animations, and then I try everything again.
It’s exhausting, and frustrating and rewarding at the same time. And I tell you what: I don’t want to have it differently.
All of us need one. Right now I live from hand to mouth, but since I don’t have children to care for that’s okay. I do not need much financial security. But I really want to stay independent from time-consuming-jobs-that-are-not-my-favorites and that’s why I opened an online gallery where you can buy original drawings that I made:
Next to all the animation-related things I’m going to show you all the other things that I’m working on. I’m going to share all my artistic processes here now, and to tell you regularly what’s going on in my studio besides the animation projects. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated on those, too.
Even if you say you’re an animator and nothing else, I just want to tell you that art is a huge source of inspiration, and most of its principles apply in animation as well.
– I hope you’ll stay with me. I’m glad you’re here!
Lots of love and support for your work,
– Jessica ♥