Motivation vs. Discipline
During the last week I worked on the mold for the Orpheus puppet, but when I triedd to open the mold, it broke. I had to remake it completely. In order not to bore you with picture very similar to those from last Monday, I’ll share some completely different thoughts with you:
…you promised! | mixed media on paper | ca. 84 x 46 cm | 2011
Why am I doing this?
When I’m motivated to do something, I have no issues to start, to continue and to finish a project.
When I’m disciplined, I somehow understand the necessity to start, to continue and to finish a project, but that doesn’t mean neither that I like what I’m doing nor that I’ll eventually do it.
Motivation doesn’t come easily. Most of the time it will be easier to be disciplined and to follow a path that others or yourself may expect from you. – It’s really hard work to find out what motivates you. But it’s worth trying.
There’s a simple question:
The answer though is often difficult. But the more I understand my motives, the easier it is to become motivated.
I was thinking about motivation and discipline a lot the last weeks because I try to understand why it’s so easy to work on my Orpheus film project currently, or why I suddenly keep working in the studio in general. I had in my guts that it wasn’t discipline that helps me to do the work.
(Oh, and I really tried to be disciplined. I tried working an hour a day on my film for several weeks. I tried to build some external pressure, but that doesn’t work either. I tried so many things that I can’t even remember them.)
I wondered, “What does motivate me now?” How do I stay on track with my film even when I have to overcome obstacles and difficulties like yesterday, when my mold broke and I lost a whole week’s work?
Why do I want to make the Orpheus film at all?
On the one hand, it’s the story that appeals me: that metaphorical story about descending into the dark to face death, both literally and symbolically. On the other hand I love storytelling through animation. I love handmade animation. And I have the feeling that I have something unique to say.
It’s not about other people. I would make the film in case nobody is going to like it. I’ve been working on this film for years even though I had monetary or technical or other issues, and I just don’t want to give it up because making this film is so amazingly important to me.
I want to finish this film because I want to see if I am able to do this. To work as an animator artist, to earn some money from the things I do and to do it independently (as in freelancer). I want to see if I’m able to live a life with as few compromises (concerning my work) and with as much freedom possible. I’m proving my theory about life.
If I fail, I’ll fail. But at least I tried.
– See, this is a motivation. I don’t need discipline anymore.
What about you? What motivates you?